lanalucy | Entries tagged with thinky thoughts

I'm in the middle of three types of classes. Two are strictly learning a new skill, and one is about personal improvement. I'm going to post stuff here about the stuff I learn, and it'll be intimate (not sexual) and potentially uncomfortable.

I do not have a problem sharing this stuff, but I am going to filter it. If you want to be in on the process, maybe ask questions to help me get deeper, please comment here to let me know. If you don't, you can also comment, but don't have to, and my feelings will not be hurt about you setting a boundary for yourself.

Potential tags about my posts are listed on this post.

<333

Jenny Crusie doesn't always flip my skirt with her blog posts, but this one makes perfect sense of my life, and coming to writing/editing/creativity in my late forties.

Plenty of Time

Galen calls them “experimental innovators,” people who have to research and understand and hone their skills in order to figure out what they want to do. They don’t start knowing, they search and learn in order to find out what they want to do. As Gladwell puts it, “The Cézannes of the world bloom late not as a result of some defect in character, or distraction, or lack of ambition, but because the kind of creativity that proceeds through trial and error necessarily takes a long time to come to fruition.”

It's oft been said that Lana has to do everything the slow way. It's true. Now I understand why.

There is plenty of time. But don't let that keep you from telling people you love them. There's never enough time for that.

Day Three

In your own space, talk about your creative process - from what inspires you to what motivates you to how you manage to break through blocks. Does your process change depending on the type of creating you're doing? Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

The process depends on what I'm doing.

For writing, when I'm inspired or connected, the words flow, my fingers fly, and fic gets written, usually without much effort. When I'm not connected, I have to work harder to find the voices in my head, but they still talk to me. When I'm disconnected, which happens from time to time, I don't write. Nothing works, so I give it a rest and fall back to reading or doing something else.

I've always thought I wasn't a terribly creative person, that the most creative thing I ever did was replicate my DNA, but I had an epiphany - it's been a big year for epiphanies - remembering how much I loved doing things when I was a kid before I shoved them aside to survive with my stepmother.

I used to love to sew - made some of my own clothes - and I really rose to the challenge of making Barbie clothes. This was back in the day when all of those kinds of dolls were Barbies/Mattel. lol Making Barbie clothes is exacting work, because the clothes are so tiny in comparison to sewing for a life-sized person. I've had all sorts of ideas lately about things I can make, new ways to make something I use every day, useful items I can make from scraps. I recently received a rather sizable donation of various kinds of cloth, and I'm looking forward to getting into combinations, contrasts, complements.

I love to color (which is why I have coloring books on my amz wishlist), which might not seem like a creative thing, but it accesses a completely different part of my brain, and I can do it when I'm watching TV. I love the process of choosing my colors, no matter how wacky the combination or how unrealistic the color is. I can pick everything, within the constraints of what's on hand. It's very relaxing.

With cooking, I have to really be inspired. I HATE cooking. I mean, with the fire of a thousand suns, I hate cooking. It's awful, and makes me sweat, and it's just ick, though I love eating a good meal. But I do occasionally get struck by a spark of creativity and try out some new spice or flavoring when making an old standby. Baking, on the other hand, I adore. It also makes me sweat, but somehow when I'm done, I have a completely different emotional satisfaction than when I cook. I've adjusted many of my recipes as I've gotten older, to account for my changing tastes, and I really enjoy trying something new and then perfecting it, according to my version of perfection.

Knitting and crocheting are also things I can do while I'm watching tv, and though I haven't done either in a long time, I remember the warm fuzzies of working on a gift for someone, choosing the right colors, the right sort of yarn, and the love energy I put into whatever I'm making. I'm planning to pick that up again, too.

I also love the creativity of organizing. I know, that doesn't seem like it's very creative, but I have to understand a bit about how someone thinks, then tailor their organization system to them, so it'll be something they actually use. I also just like organizing myself - it gives me a happy when I need a boost.

Interestingly, all of these things are meditative for me. When I get into the zone, my mind takes itself out of the loop and I am connected to somewhere else - a creative commons, for lack of a better description.

I think this ended up being more about what I love rather than the process of creation, but eh.

Many fanfic writers use the services of the same beta reader for years. I have been wondering if it would be better to switch betas more often and be exposed to a wider variety of comments.

What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of switching? Of staying with the same beta always? I ask this theoretically, because this is a question about the system of long beta relations, not about individual people. If you want, you can answer from a writer´s perspective, but also from a beta-reader's perspective, or both.

I answered from a writer's perspective. And, by the way, this was a very good topic to pursue.

( Read more... )

I'm not gonna go wild (Um, FRAK no) and say sayonara to

newnumbertwo and

laura_mayfair anytime soon (or like, ever), but I'm easier now with the changes happening within BSG fandom in general and within my BSG writing world in particular. If and when (please make it no time soon, pleasepleaseplease) I have to let them go, I will let them go with love.

Things change. I don't have to like it. I do have to Roll With the Changes. TM REO Speedwagon.

Once again,

theferrett puts my thoughts into words, so much more articulately than I usually can.

I am not normal (frankly, I don't think anybody is, but that's just my personal opinion). I am okay with my abnormality. Some days I hate my brain because some days it feels like it hates me. But I also love my brain, because I see/perceive things in ways other people don't or can't.

Sometimes, I wish depression were a monster I could just slay and be done with it. Unfortunately, it is more like a Goa'uld, which has wound its way around my spine and brain stem, and which can never be separated from me without killing me. But because it is so intrinsically a part of me, I learn things from it, I arrive at insights I wouldn't normally get within ten miles of. The curse is also a gift, and if the world is a balancing act, then I have it so someone else doesn't have to.

Basically, instead of killing my demon, or railing against it, I've learned (am still learning) to live with it. Key word being live.

You know what I'm just now wondering? When Lee and Dee have that conversation in the Raptor back to G from NC, they're in the front of the craft, but neither one of them are flying. So, is someone flying that bad boy from the back seat? And why did I never wonder this before?

This is the last of my questions from April 14th

astreamofstars asked me:
What are your thoughts on Kara's faith?
Where do you think it comes from, what do you think she actually believes, and how much do you think it affected her actions during the show?

( Read more... )

millari asked, "What do you think Kara's life would have been like if Zak had never died and she had married him? Do you think she would have still served on the Galactica, for example?"

( Read more... )

plaid_slytherin said, "Sell me on Helo? ;) I'd love to read some general thoughts on the character, since I may be writing him soon.

( Read more... )

The original question is here.

I'm not answering all of it, nor am I answering with my usual thought, but I need to feel like I've done something. lol

What I think characters might miss from before the attacks

Kara - pyramid with good players who aren't afraid to play hard, opportunities for anonymous sex, being able to own somebody who thinks she's nothing but a dumb jock or a dumb fighter pilot, cigars (she'll run out sometime), people with no preconceived notions of who she is, Zak, pretty underwear, maybe dresses

Karl - his family, casual touch - hugs and cuddling on the couch

Bill - flying - though he does get to do some toward the end of the series, secondhand bookstores with undiscovered treasures

Laura - libraries, eager young children ready to learn, her toybox, which of course she didn't bring on this trip

Cally - dance raves, apples

Lee - law school libraries - even if he never really thought about being a lawyer, I can see him reading law books just for fun, underground bookstores with "banned" works available to read/borrow/buy, his favorite pair of socks, maybe cooking

"I’m a good baker, but I am a terrible cook. ... I’ve heard it’s a left-brain/right-brain kind of thing: people who like cooking like playing it by ear and improvising, while people who like baking tend to be goal-oriented and want to know exactly what their outcome will be. Cooking is an art, but baking is a science, and I’m probably the most scientifically-minded person to graduate with a degree in Drama from NYU."

From here.

I followed a link on a comm today to try to learn something more about using appropriate language with people who are not me. I finished the article, read the comments, and ended up more confused than ever. I still don't know what to call people who aren't me. Over the last year, I've learned that the label I put on myself isn't appropriate - it has to be prefaced. So if I don't know what to call myself, how am I supposed to know what to call everyone else?

( Ramblings and emotional flailing below. )

My apologies if I failed to express myself adequately or if I did it in a way that offends you. It is definitely not intentional.

baliao gave me Kara/Lee.

( Read more... )

astreamofstars said: "I'm interested in your thoughts on Kara/Laura now that you've started writing them a bit. :)"

( Read more... )

newnumbertwo asked me about Kara/Lee/Sam.

( Read more... )

This week's

bsg_epics meta question was on pairings.

What interests you about them? What draws them together and makes them work for you? What kind of stories do you love to read or write most about them?

plaid_slytherin asked me about Kara/Zak.

( Kara and Zak )

Also, there are spaces between my paragraphs in the entry. I don't know why they're all running together in the posting. :/

In what ways are your favorite characters like you, and in what ways are they different? Which of their traits are you most drawn to, and are they the ones you most identify with?

I mostly answered the first question, and not the next two. I'll have to come back to those. Also, I answered this question about Kara. I might try to come back to Helo or Lee, or both, later.

( Read more... )

The mission for those of us who answer the questions, should we accept it, is to stay positive about our writing and ourselves, but to also be fair about our shortcomings.

1. Of the fic you’ve written, of which are you most proud?

2. Favourite tense

3. Favourite POV

4. What are some themes you love writing about?

5. What inspires you to write?

6. Thoughts on critique

7. Create a character on the spot... NOW!

8. Is there a character you love writing for the most? The least? Why?

9. A passage from a WIP

10. What are your strengths in writing?

11. What are your weaknesses in writing?

12. Anything else that you want to know... (otherwise known as Fill in the Blank)

01) Me On My Way To You, Kara's Last Chance, maybe a couple others. Those are the ones that still give me feels when I reread them.

02) Past. Sometimes my smut comes to me in present, and sometimes I drift between tenses, depending on what's happening in the fic, but for the most part, I write in past tense.

03) Third person - sometimes close, sometimes not.

04) I love writing smut. I like the falling in love. I love the newness of characters discovering their feelings for each other.

05) Pictures, conversations, people asking 'what if', just whatever jumps into my head at any given time.

06) I like critique from someone when I've asked for it, though I'd probably welcome it from someone whose writing I admire. If a stranger's going to comment on my fic, I'd rather they tell me what worked for them, and if they're going to tell me what didn't work, I'd prefer they come up with something they did like, as well. But I've got thick skin, so if they're going to take me apart, have at it.

07) Um...

08) I love writing Kara. She comes easily to me. I know her inside and out - at least the Kara I write, I know her. There are so very many sides to her. I don't like writing Dee or Sharon/Athena - I don't like writing them because I don't really like the characters, so I can't get into their heads to write from their perspectives.

09) She went to take her shower, pondering how to pull something like this off. Just as she twisted the water off, the answer came to her: Oliver. They hadn’t seen as much of Oliver since they’d graduated and gotten their first jobs. Hells, they were lucky that so far, they’d still been posted to Caprica, and together. Whatever. She shook her head. Oliver would hide everything - he’d even know where she could get mistletoe and the right kind of rope, and he probably had plenty of wrapping paper. Maybe she could wrap it all and just leave one thing on the table a day. She wouldn’t get to see Karl’s face when he opened them, but she had a good imagination, and she’d get to reap the rewards when she came home every night.

10) Um...I'm technically good - grammar, spelling, punctuation. I think I'm pretty good at writing emotions. I think I write pretty good smut.

11) I'm not great at bringing in the ambiance, the atmosphere, the environment. It's one of the things about writing BSG that actually works in my favor - there are only a few "places" that BSG characters can be. I don't have to go into too much detail.

12) I have no idea.

How does your headcanon for your favorite characters vary from story to story?
If you multiship your character in some way, how does your headcanon change between 'ships?

( Read more... )

My final December question....

newnumbertwo asked: What is it about Kara that speaks the most to you?

I answered this in the comments section of the original post, and I was going to expand on that answer, but I've run out of
time for December.

At the very core of it, it's that she's damaged, but hasn't let it stop her. I guess I identify with the scrappy survivor in her.
She bends but doesn't break. At least not for long.

She doesn't love easily, but when she does, she doesn't hold back. She's all in, even if she thinks/knows going in that it's
going to hurt. In fact, I think that Kara believes love has to hurt, and she does it anyway. She doesn't necessarily call it love,
and might deck someone for pointing it out, but she loves hard and deeply.

She's afraid of a lot of things, including her feelings, but she's not afraid of herself.

There's something inside her that pushes her to be better than yesterday, better than an hour ago. She's never satisfied
with good enough, never believes she is good enough, and this a trait that frequently is more bad than good. Sometimes
good enough should be good enough.

She's strong and smart and sexy and has a wicked sense of humor.

Aside from everything else, Kara Thrace is only the Kara Thrace I love because of Katee Sackhoff, so, there's that.

kdbleu asked: At what point could (or should) the story of Kara and Lee be changed to have a happier, or at least a more satisfying, ending?

Honestly, the shortest possible answer is that I would have been satisfied, but not happy, if at the end of Daybreak, the epic friendship of Kara and Lee had gone out with a hug, even if she still poofed. They were good at those hugs, and it would have been in keeping with their relationship over the years.

The Kara who came back after Maelstrom didn't know she wasn't Kara anymore: she believed that she was Kara, with a detour here and there for angsty wondering if she was a Cylon. So Kara and Lee continued to have moments that could, at the very LEAST, be interpreted as friendshippy, all the way to the end.

That friendship deserved better than "Neither am I" and "You won't be forgotten." Kiss my fat white ass, RDM.

As for earlier, they could have started exploring things, maybe not full-on romance, but their complex palette of feelings for each other, as early as the aftermath of Colonial Day. Lee could have been a bit more assertive after their aborted makeout in Scar, made her examine her feelings for Sam and Zak, how intertwined the two were in her mind - put his possessive jealousy aside and been her friend. She needed one. Or Kara could have not run away when her emotions got too ugly and too confusing and too close to the surface.

By the time of the mutiny, they could totally have started to make things work with each other, not in a happily-ever-after way, because I'm not sure those two could ever have happily ever after, but in a 'let's get real and admit how we feel and go from there' way. After Sam was shot, she could have gone with 'yeah, I still love my husband, but I've always loved you, so let's see what happens, can you be patient with me' and I bet Lee would have been. By the end of the series, he'd grown so much from the spoiled little daddy-hating brat that I fell in love with despite/because of his flaws, had become a man tested by life and still standing.

That man would have been more than a match for a damaged-but-still swinging Kara Thrace.

Those two people that stood in the field at the end of Daybreak could have been happy with each other, knock-down drag-out fights and all, and in my mind, they are.

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Lucy Talks

Random Ravings

Entries tagged with thinky thoughts

personal development stuff

There's plenty of time.

Fandom Snowflake Challenge

Topic originally posted to bsg_checkin which became I Would Like To Thank....

I never said it was easy. I simply said it was necessary.

Wondering...

Meta: Kara's faith

Meta on Kara/Zak and Helo

Epics Discussion Day - Before the Fall

A great explanation for my cooking/baking dissociation

Totally Random

Meta on Kara/Lee

Meta on Kara/Laura

Meta on Kara/Lee/Sam

Meta on the Kara & Zak pairing

Epics Discussion Day #2

Cross-post from Write & Gripe...

Headcanon - epics Discussion Day Topic #1

Question Meme Answer #7

Question Meme Answer #6