lanalucy | Entries tagged with contemplation

I'm in the middle of three types of classes. Two are strictly learning a new skill, and one is about personal improvement. I'm going to post stuff here about the stuff I learn, and it'll be intimate (not sexual) and potentially uncomfortable.

I do not have a problem sharing this stuff, but I am going to filter it. If you want to be in on the process, maybe ask questions to help me get deeper, please comment here to let me know. If you don't, you can also comment, but don't have to, and my feelings will not be hurt about you setting a boundary for yourself.

Potential tags about my posts are listed on this post.

<333

theferrett's always good for saying things I mean, only better. :D

Day Three

In your own space, talk about your creative process - from what inspires you to what motivates you to how you manage to break through blocks. Does your process change depending on the type of creating you're doing? Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

The process depends on what I'm doing.

For writing, when I'm inspired or connected, the words flow, my fingers fly, and fic gets written, usually without much effort. When I'm not connected, I have to work harder to find the voices in my head, but they still talk to me. When I'm disconnected, which happens from time to time, I don't write. Nothing works, so I give it a rest and fall back to reading or doing something else.

I've always thought I wasn't a terribly creative person, that the most creative thing I ever did was replicate my DNA, but I had an epiphany - it's been a big year for epiphanies - remembering how much I loved doing things when I was a kid before I shoved them aside to survive with my stepmother.

I used to love to sew - made some of my own clothes - and I really rose to the challenge of making Barbie clothes. This was back in the day when all of those kinds of dolls were Barbies/Mattel. lol Making Barbie clothes is exacting work, because the clothes are so tiny in comparison to sewing for a life-sized person. I've had all sorts of ideas lately about things I can make, new ways to make something I use every day, useful items I can make from scraps. I recently received a rather sizable donation of various kinds of cloth, and I'm looking forward to getting into combinations, contrasts, complements.

I love to color (which is why I have coloring books on my amz wishlist), which might not seem like a creative thing, but it accesses a completely different part of my brain, and I can do it when I'm watching TV. I love the process of choosing my colors, no matter how wacky the combination or how unrealistic the color is. I can pick everything, within the constraints of what's on hand. It's very relaxing.

With cooking, I have to really be inspired. I HATE cooking. I mean, with the fire of a thousand suns, I hate cooking. It's awful, and makes me sweat, and it's just ick, though I love eating a good meal. But I do occasionally get struck by a spark of creativity and try out some new spice or flavoring when making an old standby. Baking, on the other hand, I adore. It also makes me sweat, but somehow when I'm done, I have a completely different emotional satisfaction than when I cook. I've adjusted many of my recipes as I've gotten older, to account for my changing tastes, and I really enjoy trying something new and then perfecting it, according to my version of perfection.

Knitting and crocheting are also things I can do while I'm watching tv, and though I haven't done either in a long time, I remember the warm fuzzies of working on a gift for someone, choosing the right colors, the right sort of yarn, and the love energy I put into whatever I'm making. I'm planning to pick that up again, too.

I also love the creativity of organizing. I know, that doesn't seem like it's very creative, but I have to understand a bit about how someone thinks, then tailor their organization system to them, so it'll be something they actually use. I also just like organizing myself - it gives me a happy when I need a boost.

Interestingly, all of these things are meditative for me. When I get into the zone, my mind takes itself out of the loop and I am connected to somewhere else - a creative commons, for lack of a better description.

I think this ended up being more about what I love rather than the process of creation, but eh.

Many fanfic writers use the services of the same beta reader for years. I have been wondering if it would be better to switch betas more often and be exposed to a wider variety of comments.

What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of switching? Of staying with the same beta always? I ask this theoretically, because this is a question about the system of long beta relations, not about individual people. If you want, you can answer from a writer´s perspective, but also from a beta-reader's perspective, or both.

I answered from a writer's perspective. And, by the way, this was a very good topic to pursue.

( Read more... )

I'm not gonna go wild (Um, FRAK no) and say sayonara to

newnumbertwo and

laura_mayfair anytime soon (or like, ever), but I'm easier now with the changes happening within BSG fandom in general and within my BSG writing world in particular. If and when (please make it no time soon, pleasepleaseplease) I have to let them go, I will let them go with love.

Things change. I don't have to like it. I do have to Roll With the Changes. TM REO Speedwagon.

Once again,

theferrett puts my thoughts into words, so much more articulately than I usually can.

I am not normal (frankly, I don't think anybody is, but that's just my personal opinion). I am okay with my abnormality. Some days I hate my brain because some days it feels like it hates me. But I also love my brain, because I see/perceive things in ways other people don't or can't.

Sometimes, I wish depression were a monster I could just slay and be done with it. Unfortunately, it is more like a Goa'uld, which has wound its way around my spine and brain stem, and which can never be separated from me without killing me. But because it is so intrinsically a part of me, I learn things from it, I arrive at insights I wouldn't normally get within ten miles of. The curse is also a gift, and if the world is a balancing act, then I have it so someone else doesn't have to.

Basically, instead of killing my demon, or railing against it, I've learned (am still learning) to live with it. Key word being live.

She's got some good thoughts about both being proud of ourselves and our accomplishments, and being proud of others. There's always going to be somebody who's not there yet, and who's already where we want to be. We all need encouragement, and we all have it to give.

First Step to Anywhere

I followed a link on a comm today to try to learn something more about using appropriate language with people who are not me. I finished the article, read the comments, and ended up more confused than ever. I still don't know what to call people who aren't me. Over the last year, I've learned that the label I put on myself isn't appropriate - it has to be prefaced. So if I don't know what to call myself, how am I supposed to know what to call everyone else?

( Ramblings and emotional flailing below. )

My apologies if I failed to express myself adequately or if I did it in a way that offends you. It is definitely not intentional.

I was thinking while I was making dinner (because the last thing I want to do while cooking is *think* about cooking!) about TV and fandom..

I have watched a lot of TV, and the shows that really keep me interested are the ones with the best 'ships. I don't necessarily mean the most sparkage, though that factors in heavily. No, the ones where the foundation for the friendship or the more-than-friendship is carefully constructed over time, the ones where they really try to make it believable, those really keep me interested. Buffy and Angel. Buffy and Spike. I believed the Buffy and Riley friendship, especially after he came back for that one episode, but they never clicked for me as a couple. Willow and Xander. Dawn and Spike. Cordelia and Angel. Cordy and Xander. Faith and Angel. SG-1's Jack and Sam, and the deep, deep bond between all four of the original members of the team. I totally believed they would kill and/or die for each other. Joey and Pacey. Sydney and Vaughn. Mulder and Scully, obviously, lol. JAG's Harm and Mac. Pensacola's Spoon and Ice. Criminal Minds' Morgan & Garcia and JJ & Reed. The dad and brothers on Numb3rs. I should probably remember others, but these jump out at me.

Sometime shortly after high school, I went to an event somewhere local and got a signature in my autograph book from Mark Derwin, Guiding Light's AC Mallet aka Anthony Camaletti. And how sad is it that I still know that information?

My first real serious heart-on, though, was for MacGyver. I was devastated when it ended, and wrote a scathing letter to the local Paramount channel, not knowing at the time that they cancelled it because RDA was tired after eight seasons and wanted to spend more time with his kid, also not knowing that the local Paramount affiliate didn't have any choice in the matter. I was young and uninformed.

Then X Files. Ah, X Files. I got on the internet, talked to other people who loved the show as much as I did, to people who were dissecting the show for all the little moments, for character clothing and hair arcs, for the meaning behind the tiniest gesture or facial expression. And for the 'ship. In my mind, Mulder and Scully were totally lovers hiding it from everyone, but even if they weren't, they cared deeply about each other and while they might fight with each other, they'd always have each other's backs. X Files is the first fandom where I actually went to an event, all the way to Potosi, Missouri, to meet other fans in a secluded setting, complete with cheesy potatoes. I am still friends with many of those women and value their impacts on my life. Even though I went away from lj for a while, when I find them on Facebook, they welcome me as a friend. And fanfiction. XF introduced me to fanfiction - smart and well-written, cheesy and funny and solemn and angsty - in all its glory. Never to be forgotten is Walter Skinner's (fictional? maybe) fascination with a certain buxom redhead who shall remain nameless.

I started scheduling my life around TV when Buffy and Dawson's Creek showed up. That was also when I started watching TV with the captions on because the characters talked so fast that I couldn't keep up. And man, talk about 'shipping! I had so much 'shipping material with Buffy, I was in heaven. I spent money on Buffy stuff - keychains, shot glasses, lithographs, comics - much of which I still have. Buffy was the first fandom where I did this. Actually, thinking back on it, it's the only one. I have a few XF items, but those are mostly things I got in passing, not stuff I went out of my way to find and order.

My JAG group still meets every year, and we call ourselves the Texas Tarts. Most of us are older (let's just say over 35 and leave it at that, shall we?) and the meet is more about eating and making ribald comments about male cast members during our rewatches, but we love the show, and most of us have a somewhat more than passing knowledge of things military. We don't all agree that Harm and Mac belong together, but we all agree that we love the show and we all 'ship Harriet and Bud.

All this brings me to Battlestar Galactica. I know I'm late to the party, but I only just watched it during August and September for the first time. The 'ships on this ship were/are just spectacular. Starbuck/Kara & Apollo/Lee. Friendship or more, they have an undeniable connection to each other, and Katee and Jamie made it real and made it sizzle. Kara and Helo (can't seem to think of him as Karl). They didn't get as much screen-time as I'd like, but their friendship for me is one of the high points of the show - he might bring the criticism to her, but he never judged her, and they loved each other deeply, in a completely different way than Kara and Lee did. Bill Adama and Laura Roslin. They built this over time from a simple two people leading a ragtag fleet of humanity to an understated romantic relationship intrinsic to the fabric of the show.

If I had watched this as it was airing, I probably would have gone completely overboard with it. Cons, events, autographs, pictures, memorabilia, pointy sticks aimed at fic writers. Perhaps it's a good thing I found it late. :D

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Location: United States, Texas, Dallas

June 19, 2007 (www.dailyom.com)
Women’s Support: Becoming Our Own Role Models
As women embrace the fullness of who they are as individuals, they may find themselves supporting other women, helping others to reach the level of inner comfort and outer freedom that they themselves have found. Among those who are less sure of themselves and their place in the world, it may be more common to criticize other women than to seek their help. But there are things that a woman can only learn from another woman, as there are things about being a man that can only be learned from other men. We all recognize that we have much to learn from each other regardless of gender, but sometimes we could use a supportive role model that gives us a more precise example of what and who we can become.

There was a time where women stood together in a bond of sisterhood, women supporting women. It is only natural that the pendulum swings out of balance for a while so that we may have the experience of what we do not want. It is up to women to bring the pendulum back into balance and bring back the sacred sisterhood we yearn for at our core.

If we envision a world where women support each other and help each other find their place in an ever-changing world, then we can become the change we want to see. Jealousy, envy, criticism, and judgment are refuges for the insecure. As we help others to become self-assured, we create a world in which all people help each other, regardless of gender. Only women can make the change in how women are seen and understood, not just by other women but by the world at large. The way we speak about each other to other women and to the men in our lives informs everyone to treat us with the respect that all women, and all people, deserve.
What do you think?

Current Mood: hungry

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personal development stuff
The Cost of Socializing
Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Topic originally posted to bsg_checkin which became I Would Like To Thank....
I never said it was easy. I simply said it was necessary.
Pride
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Lucy Talks

Random Ravings

Entries tagged with contemplation

personal development stuff

The Cost of Socializing

Fandom Snowflake Challenge

Topic originally posted to bsg_checkin which became I Would Like To Thank....

I never said it was easy. I simply said it was necessary.

Pride

Totally Random

Fandom ramblings

Daily OM