lanalucy | Epics Discussion Day #2 (Reply)

In what ways are your favorite characters like you, and in what ways are they different? Which of their traits are you most drawn to, and are they the ones you most identify with?

I mostly answered the first question, and not the next two. I'll have to come back to those. Also, I answered this question about Kara. I might try to come back to Helo or Lee, or both, later.

Kara’s stronger than she knows - doesn’t know how she’ll handle something until it’s put in front of her, but she’s good under pressure, unless that pressure is Lee.

I’m definitely like this - I handle things long past the point where I think it’s too much, and I don’t crumble under pressure, but I also have a person or three in my life who serve as my Lee, people I tend to react to more than respond to. Like Kara, if I break down, it's much more likely to be when I'm alone and no one's watching. I'm good at hiding my pain - probably better than I need to be.

Kara’s very affected by her childhood, by the abuse she suffered under Socrata. She’s internalized it more than I did, and she never got the chance to learn from it and let the pain go. I’ve done that - I’ve taken the abuse and learned lessons from it, made decisions about what kind of person I am or want to be, what kind of parent I am or want to be, and chucked the rest. Of course, there are definitely still things in my past that push my buttons, and I don’t know what they are until someone pushes the button.

She pushes herself, probably harder than she pushes anyone else, and I do this. I’m almost never satisfied with ‘good enough,’ always looking for perfect. I’ve learned to adjust my expectations, because no one’s perfect, least of all me, but I still want it, and there’s still a part of me inside that’s worse than any critic that could judge my behavior or performance.

Kara keeps people at a distance, using humor or sex or anger/abrasiveness, and I do the same thing. Less the sex than the other methods, lol. But I’ll deflect someone with a well-timed wry comment, or I’ll be unintentionally brusque if someone’s pushing too far into my personal space. There are people who know me well enough to get this, and back off for now, but not take it personally, and there are people who take it personally and move off in another direction. And then there are people who take it as a challenge. Those people I will tend to become overt with. Go away. Leave me alone. I will devolve to downright rude if they don't respect my boundaries.

Like Kara, I adore a good hug. I’m much more touchy-feely than people think I am at first - I do love a good, long hug, or someone playing with my hair, or cuddles on the couch, but I hate to be touched randomly. I’m not talking about brushing past someone in the store, but someone intentionally touching me for no reason - putting a hand on my elbow or shoulder, something like that. I don’t like people in my close personal bubble unless I’ve invited them. It’s one of the reasons I love that I don’t work in a cube farm any more. Too many people are much more familiar with each other’s personal boundaries than I like.

Kara’s smart, and so am I.

She’s comfortable with people knowing her from her role as a Viper pilot extraordinaire, but otherwise, she doesn’t tend to put herself or her favorite things in the limelight - her spirituality or her painting, for example. Helo probably knew her better than anyone, and he was still surprised by the artwork he found in her apartment on Caprica. I’m kind of the same way. There are things I do and do well, and I’m not afraid to brag about them. Then there are things I truly enjoy and think I do pretty well, but I don’t necessarily want people noticing.

Ultimately, we’re both survivors. Life throws shit at us, and we knuckle under temporarily, or we lob it back, but either way, we survive to fight another day.