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lanalucyLee had been sitting staring into the fire for several hours. No one had approached him in a while - they seemed to be giving him his space. He dozed off slightly, and when he awoke he was aware of a feeling of warmth down his right side. He looked over and smiled at Kara.
“Hi, Lee.”
“Hi, yourself. I thought you weren’t coming back.” He also thought he should be more concerned about this, but he just couldn't muster the effort it would take to freak out.
“I’m not. This is a special visit. I need you to do something for me.” She stood up and pulled at his hand. “Come on. Let’s walk and talk.”
He followed her away from the central fire, waving distractedly at people who called out good nights to him. They fell into a comfortable silence, strolling along, linked hands swinging between them.
“So, Kara..”
“Shh. Not yet.” She stopped walking and faced him, reached up and framed his jaw with her hands. “You’re so... I’ve missed you.” She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He put his arms around her and tried to deepen the kiss, but she shook her head and stepped back.
“I hated leaving you. We finally had all our shit together at the same time, and that could have been really, really great.”
Lee’s voice was pained, “Then why did you leave? It’s not fair. I lost you and didn’t even know why. Dad left to take care of Laura, and I understand that, but he’s still gone, probably never coming back. There’s no one left for me.”
“Oh, Lee. I know. That’s actually why I’m here. Things are so much clearer on the other side. I see things in a much bigger context.”
Lee paced, glancing at Kara periodically as if making sure she was still there. “You’re here because I got left behind?” He sounded incredulous.
“In a way. I’m here because you’re lonely and I want you to be happy, and I’ve seen enough that I think I can help you move on.”
“So you’re here to help me forget you?” Now he sounded hurt and angry.
“Lee, no! You’re never going to forget me. But missing me won’t always hurt as much as it does now. You ready to hear about it yet?”
Lee started walking again, knowing that Kara would keep pace, and they ended up on the flat rocks near the stream about a mile from the settlement. He scrambled up to the top and reached down a completely unnecessary hand to Kara - she was already right there beside him. “I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to hear your plan.”
“When I was imprisoned on New Caprica, when Leoben was holding me, he brought me a child, told me she was ours - his and mine.”
“Kara, that’s ridiculous! How...”
“Lee! I’ll tell you all of it if you want to hear it, but I’d rather just tell you the parts that relate to my plan for you. I’d rather not make things worse instead of better.”
He nodded silently in acquiescence.
“I resisted at first, but I fell in love with her, with Kacey. She was mine, and not even knowing that the other half of her DNA came from him was enough to keep me from loving her. Then, on Galactica’s deck, right after the Exodus off New Cap, Kacey’s mom happened to be in the crowd and recognized her. She thanked me for saving her daughter and took her away. I was devastated to learn that she wasn’t really mine. I didn’t even think to be pissed at Leoben for deceiving me about her.” Kara wrapped her arms around herself.
Lee could see the tears tracking down her face, hear the cracks in her voice. He pulled at a hand until she was sitting across his lap. He pushed her head into his shoulder and just held on. “Better?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Lee.” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t handle it very well. I was broken and couldn’t let anybody see how badly. Kacey saw right through me, so I told Julia to keep her away from me.”
He rubbed his hand up and down her back, feeling her relax in increments. “Kara?”
“Yeah. So, here’s the favor part, Lee. You can say no, but I really, really hope that you’ll consider all of it.”
“All? This is one of your crazy out-of-the-box plans, isn’t it, Kara?” Lee laughed. “Not even death changes Kara Thrace.”
She snorted. “Of course not!”
“All right. Let’s have it, so I can get all bent out of shape and then agree like we both know I will.”
“OK. There’re a lot of pieces to this to make it...you know what? The short and sweet version is, I want you to fall in love with Julia Brynn.” She purposely kept her cheek against his chest so she couldn’t watch his face explode in anger.
Interestingly, Lee did no such thing. “You. Want me to fall in love. With someone else. Kara, you’re not really here, so I feel free to say that I never loved anybody in my entire life the way I loved you. Love you still.”
“I know, Lee. I know. You don’t have to stop loving me to fall in love with her. Every Colonist on this planet has lost somebody. She will understand that there’s a part of you that will never belong to her, because there’s a part of her that will never belong to anybody but Kacey’s father. It’s a second chance for all of us, and I want you to take it.”
“I don’t get it, Kara. Why is this so important to you?”
She sat up away from his chest and looked at him. “You never had any idea how much I loved you, did you?”
His eyes sought hers and she nodded. “I fought loving you with everything I had. Loving you scared me a thousand times more than getting blown away by a Cylon Raider, or even getting left behind on that moon where I crashed. Loving you scared me more than my mother did.”
Lee didn’t know what to say to that last. He never had known everything about Kara’s mother, and found himself hoping he never learned more than he knew right now.
“I’m selfish - I want to see you again when it’s your time, but I want it to be at the end of a long and happy life, Leland Joseph Adama.”
“All right, Kara Thrace. Give me your plan.”
She snuggled back into him and started talking. She explained about how Kacey needed someone who would listen when she talked about ‘Mama Kara’ and who would share some happier stories of his own. She mentioned that Julia was lonely and the burden of raising Kacey alone was getting too much - she desperately needed someone strong she could lean on, someone who would understand all the different kinds of grief she was dealing with, someone who would give her something happy to think about. (she thought but didn't say And maybe an endless supply of mind-altering orgasms) Lee needed someone to need him, someone who wouldn’t treat him like he was descended from Apollo himself, someone who would respect but not idolize him.
Lee snickered at that one. “Is that all, Kara? Just magically fall in love and save everybody?”
“Well, it’s not exactly magic, Lee. It’s going to be work, but you’re good at that. And...”
“And what, Kara? What haven’t you told me?” His exasperated tone was nothing like it had ever been when they were both alive.
In a small, tentative voice, she said, “Well, there’s only one more little thing, but it’s important to me.”
His arms tightened around her and he sighed. “Let’s hear it.”
“It’s my job to keep watch on those tight-ass Adama genes. I didn’t do such a great job with Zak or with you. Your kids are my last chance, and if you don’t get busy....”
His breath hitched and he held it in.
“Lee? They’re going to be beautiful.” The awe in her voice made him shiver. “I can’t wait for you to meet them.”
The day Bill buried Laura, he stood staring at the mound of dirt that had covered the woman he'd detested at first but grown to love. His spine was bowed in grief and pain, his eyes watery behind his glasses.
He felt a hand sneak into his and glanced over. She looked much like she had the last time she'd held his hand at a gravesite, uniform and all. His spine straightened instinctively.
"Whaddaya hear, Starbuck?"
"Nothin' but the rain, Sir."
He lost his taste for their usual repartee and answered, "Me, neither."
They stood there for long moments, lost in their thoughts, listening to the sounds of shots being fired and bugles playing, until she leaned into him and broke the spell.
"Sir? You got any hooch in that cabin?"
"Not much, but there might be a couple of fingers each."
"Good. I wanted to talk to you about something. Something important."
They went inside, and Kara wandered his cabin, poking and looking and generally being nosy. "You've put together a nice place here, Sir. Cozy. I bet Laura loved it."
"I think she did. She seemed happy enough what little time she had here. Now, what do you have on your mind, Kara?"
"It's Lee." He just nodded.
"Things are changing for him back there, and well, maybe you'd like to be a part of the changes. I know that you're not ready to leave here. Maybe you'll never be ready to leave Laura permanently."
"But...?" Bill looked at her skeptically.
"But, in a few months, there'll be someone there you'll want to meet. She'll be worth the trip, I promise."
They finished the tiny bit of alcohol left in the bottom of the bottle, and when she started to fall asleep, he tucked her under a blanket on the couch.
She was gone when he arose, the blanket folded neatly on the arm.
It was weeks before everything clicked together and he realized what she'd been telling him. The trip back to the settlement took him two and a half months, and he got there just in time.
A/N: This is pure self-indulgence, written because Kara and Lee kept talking in my head and wouldn't shut up until I wrote it down. And then Bill and Kara started talking to me. Hope it doesn't traumatize anyone.
Also, if she died and returned after Maelstrom, then "died" again after Daybreak, she's probably beyond worrying about Lee hurting her and no longer feels the need to protect herself with lies and omissions.
