lanalucy | Color me intellectually lazy and unimaginative

wolflady wrote a rant about answering the "if you could change anything in your life, what would it be?" question with "I wouldn't change a thing" here.

Here's my (intended to be) unranty .

I answer this question this way. Unoriginal or not, I really wouldn't change anything. I mean, if I want to fantasize about something, I'll fantasize about changing the life I have now, not the one I had then. It's over, and who cares?

As an example, I was molested as a kid, on more than one occasion. Do I wish sometimes that it hadn't happened? Sure. However, I survived it and grew stronger as a result of the trauma. When my own daughter was molested and I had to handle the whole thing from a parental perspective, I had that strength to draw on to do everything that had to be done rather than curl up in a gibbering mess in a corner somewhere, which really would have been my first choice on any number of days.

Do I wish sometimes that I'd spent more time with my mom in the last six months of her life? Sure, I do. Do I wish that I'd been nicer to people who did nothing but offer a hand up? You bet. Do I wish sometimes that I hadn't married the man I did? Oh, man, do I ever! But then I wouldn't have the daughter I have now.

I mean, if I changed those things, I'd have less guilt about abandoning an alcoholic mother in her dying months. I might be better off financially or healthwise if I'd taken some of the help people offered. I might have a better daughter, or even a son, but I wouldn't have -this- daughter. I wouldn't have the life I have now. And while it's not the independently wealthy philanthropic life I could be leading (lol), it's the life I have and I like it.