(no subject)

[lanalucy]

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.

Women should learn self-defense.
Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark.
Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts.
Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended.
Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend, whom you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can help yourself.

If you agree, re-post it. It's that important.

***********
I'm not sure that a little instruction in personal safety is a bad thing, but for the most part, I agree. It's the rapist's responsibility to own up to his/her own actions, not the victim's responsibility to avoid life.

Comments

[wolflady26.livejournal.com]

The problem with that theory, though, is that you can't control other people's actions, but you can control your own. Sure, people shouldn't rape - but the sad fact of the matter is that people do.

Furthermore, telling someone "don't rape" is great as far as it goes - especially when it's a sketchy situation, like remembering your partner may be too drunk to give consent, or education, like teaching your children to respect other people. But if someone's going to drop date rape drugs in someone's drink or rape them while they're in a coma, there's no way that they don't know that's utterly wrong.

Since there's nothing you need to do when you're around people who won't rape you, it's useful to learn what to do when you're around people who will. I can't stop people from committing crime, but I can recognize a dangerous situation, decide if I want to enter that situation, and prepare myself if I decide to. It's my responsibility to ensure my own safety in life.

[lanalucy]

That was pretty much what I was trying to say. I can't live my life avoiding anything that might have a rapist in it, since that includes just about every possible place I might go in my daily life - schools, work, grocery store, post office. There's no reason not to learn and use safe behavior. That's my major problem with that last little bit of the thing. You said it more eloquently, though.

[wolflady26.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)