Fic: Not Sharing, Kara/Karl, PG-13, AU, no warnings

[lanalucy]

Prompt: textsfromlastnight -
"I'm covered in glitter and body paint. WTF?"
"We're showing the video later. Bring pizza."

Thanks to newnumbertwo for the beta!

Kara was on her way to the bar again, after a text from Oliver.

Your boyfriend’s down here again. Don’t worry, we definitely recorded it this time.

I keep telling you, he’s not my boyfriend. Then *sigh* I’ll be there in ten minutes.

She stood in the doorway, trying to see over the crowd, but even at 5’7”, she was dwarfed by most of the men in this place. Oliver must have been keeping an eye out for her, though, because he and another one of their group were pushing their way through the crowd, Karl hanging off both their shoulders.

“Kara!” Karl shouted it happily. “Guys! My Kara’s here! See her?”

Oliver patted Karl’s head. “We see her, Cuddle Buddy.”

Kara mouthed at Oliver, “Cuddle Buddy?”

He shrugged and leaned forward. “I’ll explain later.”

Karl was shirtless, covered in body paint, glitter twinkling from his head down to….Kara looked. Yep. To his feet.

“Gods, Karl. What the frak did you do now?”

Oliver reminded her that they’d recorded it this time.

“Then somebody needs to copy it to a disc and bring it to my place on Saturday. We can watch it and make up a drinking game for every time Karl says or does something ridiculous.”

“Ooooh. I’ll pass the word around. I’ll bring Ambrosia. Eight o’clock?”

Kara nodded. “He’s even more drunk than he was the first time. Somebody can help me get him in the truck, right?”

“Got you covered, Kara, honey. Sebastian actually lives near you and he has an early morning, so he’ll follow you and help you get Karl inside, too.”

“Thank gods! Last time, he passed out before I got him home, and I almost left him in the damn truck.”

“He is one fine pound of manflesh.”

“More than a frakkin’ pound, Oliver. Much more.”

“Not that you’re usually complaining.”

Kara snickered. “Well, all that muscle does occasionally come in very handy.”

“Well, you know whenever you get tired of him, we’ll be glad to pass him around and let him come in very handy at our places.” He glanced around. “Oh! Here’s Sebastian now! Isn’t he darling?”

Kara muttered, “Talk about a fine pound of manflesh.”

“I heard that, Kara Thrace. You’ve got your own. We can swap, but we’re not sharing.”

“I’ll keep Karl, then. At least he knows what to do with girly parts.”

“He knows what to do with boy parts, too, Kara. As long as he’s drunk.”

She turned widened eyes on Oliver, who held his hands up in surrender. “Not me! I don’t poach.”

“Better not.” Kara glared at Oliver.

“Thought he wasn’t yours, girlfriend.”

“He’s not. He’s just….I’m not into sharing. Well, I am, but not like that.”

“Oh, Kara. Do tell!”

“Another time, Oliver. I’ve got to get this lug to my place.”

“Sebastian, you got him?”

Sebastian answered by putting his shoulder into Karl’s waist and carrying him out to Kara’s truck fireman style. She trailed behind, confirming that Sebastian was indeed a very attractive fellow. Too bad he wasn’t into girls. She sighed as she unlocked the passenger door.

Sebastian hauled Karl into Kara’s place and tossed him on the not-Kara side of the bed, then gave Kara a hug and waved as he left.

She texted Oliver. Got here. I’m keeping Sebastian as a sex slave. I’ll teach him to like girls.

Them’s fighting words, honey. :) See you Saturday!

---

Karl dragged himself to the bathroom, again catching sight of himself in the mirror. He was covered in body paint. He looked down at his open zipper. Everywhere. Then he took a closer look and realized that the body paint was sprinkled liberally with glitter.

I’m covered in glitter and body paint. WTF, Kara?

You got wasted at Oliver’s bar again. Someone’s bringing the video on Saturday.

Frak. What’d I do this time?

Not sure. But someone assured me that it’s not just girly parts you’re good with. Karl could hear her snickering all the way from wherever she was. He liked Oliver’s bar, but he definitely needed to stop drinking there.

His phone beeped again. By the way, you’re bringing pizza for the viewing party on Saturday.

He tossed the phone at her bed and stripped off his clothes. It was going to take forever to get this crap off himself. Maybe he should just stay in the shower until Saturday.