lanalucy: (curvy)
I just love a good christmas miracle. 'Cause if anybody understands having a shitty holiday season, it's us. We know who we are.

Happy Christmas, everybody. Hugs and love.
lanalucy: (WaN Kara)
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Day Three

In your own space, talk about your creative process - from what inspires you to what motivates you to how you manage to break through blocks. Does your process change depending on the type of creating you're doing? Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

The process depends on what I'm doing.

For writing, when I'm inspired or connected, the words flow, my fingers fly, and fic gets written, usually without much effort. When I'm not connected, I have to work harder to find the voices in my head, but they still talk to me. When I'm disconnected, which happens from time to time, I don't write. Nothing works, so I give it a rest and fall back to reading or doing something else.

I've always thought I wasn't a terribly creative person, that the most creative thing I ever did was replicate my DNA, but I had an epiphany - it's been a big year for epiphanies - remembering how much I loved doing things when I was a kid before I shoved them aside to survive with my stepmother.

I used to love to sew - made some of my own clothes - and I really rose to the challenge of making Barbie clothes. This was back in the day when all of those kinds of dolls were Barbies/Mattel. lol Making Barbie clothes is exacting work, because the clothes are so tiny in comparison to sewing for a life-sized person. I've had all sorts of ideas lately about things I can make, new ways to make something I use every day, useful items I can make from scraps. I recently received a rather sizable donation of various kinds of cloth, and I'm looking forward to getting into combinations, contrasts, complements.

I love to color (which is why I have coloring books on my amz wishlist), which might not seem like a creative thing, but it accesses a completely different part of my brain, and I can do it when I'm watching TV. I love the process of choosing my colors, no matter how wacky the combination or how unrealistic the color is. I can pick everything, within the constraints of what's on hand. It's very relaxing.

With cooking, I have to really be inspired. I HATE cooking. I mean, with the fire of a thousand suns, I hate cooking. It's awful, and makes me sweat, and it's just ick, though I love eating a good meal. But I do occasionally get struck by a spark of creativity and try out some new spice or flavoring when making an old standby. Baking, on the other hand, I adore. It also makes me sweat, but somehow when I'm done, I have a completely different emotional satisfaction than when I cook. I've adjusted many of my recipes as I've gotten older, to account for my changing tastes, and I really enjoy trying something new and then perfecting it, according to my version of perfection.

Knitting and crocheting are also things I can do while I'm watching tv, and though I haven't done either in a long time, I remember the warm fuzzies of working on a gift for someone, choosing the right colors, the right sort of yarn, and the love energy I put into whatever I'm making. I'm planning to pick that up again, too.

I also love the creativity of organizing. I know, that doesn't seem like it's very creative, but I have to understand a bit about how someone thinks, then tailor their organization system to them, so it'll be something they actually use. I also just like organizing myself - it gives me a happy when I need a boost.

Interestingly, all of these things are meditative for me. When I get into the zone, my mind takes itself out of the loop and I am connected to somewhere else - a creative commons, for lack of a better description.

I think this ended up being more about what I love rather than the process of creation, but eh.
lanalucy: (WaN Kara)
Once again, [ profile] theferrett puts my thoughts into words, so much more articulately than I usually can.

I am not normal (frankly, I don't think anybody is, but that's just my personal opinion). I am okay with my abnormality. Some days I hate my brain because some days it feels like it hates me. But I also love my brain, because I see/perceive things in ways other people don't or can't.

Sometimes, I wish depression were a monster I could just slay and be done with it. Unfortunately, it is more like a Goa'uld, which has wound its way around my spine and brain stem, and which can never be separated from me without killing me. But because it is so intrinsically a part of me, I learn things from it, I arrive at insights I wouldn't normally get within ten miles of. The curse is also a gift, and if the world is a balancing act, then I have it so someone else doesn't have to.

Basically, instead of killing my demon, or railing against it, I've learned (am still learning) to live with it. Key word being live.
lanalucy: (blue frog)
Yeah. Getting a diagnosis is good. Getting the right diagnosis is like heaven. 'Cause repeatedly being told you're fine, you "just need to lose weight" sucks, when you know there is something going on inside your body that needs attention.

Yes, I'm fat. But that's not all I am, and most of this started when I was skinnier than you, frakker.

August 2017

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